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[onlyhope]

@ ben

THIS USER IS UNAVAILABLE. LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.

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[unrepentant]

Because they wanted to send me back once already.

[onlyhope]

[ The emotion he feels is so complex that he cannot untangle it. Anakin thought that even after he was accepted they would abandon him. Worse, that Obi-Wan would have allowed it. Felt it so strongly that he didn't trust enough to ask a question about this new world he had been thrust in to. And Obi-Wan had never thought to question it. ]

I would never have let that happen.

[unrepentant]

[A frown]

Master, even Qui-Gon didn't convince them.
Everyone knew I was always on thin ice.

[onlyhope]

Anakin

If they had not accepted you when I spoke to them after Naboo, neither of us would be Jedi today. Not as part of the Order, anyway.

[unrepentant]

Okay

But, even if that was the case, I wouldn't have known that.

Everyone said no, and then they changed their minds. I didn't want to give them even more reason to change their minds again.

[onlyhope]

Why didn't you ask me?

[unrepentant]

Because I took Qui-Gon away from you

[onlyhope]

[ the earnestness of it shocks him for the second time in as many minutes ]

Maul murdered my Master.

You are what saved me from falling apart completely.

[unrepentant]

[No movement, only sound. The splitting of heavenly bodies.]

But



You didn't have a choice

You were stuck with me

[onlyhope]

Of course I had a choice. I chose you.

Even when you were twelve and questioning your place in the Order, I had every intention of going with you if you left.

[ a shocky pause, and then he asks because he cannot help himself: ]

Have you really believed that, this whole time?

[unrepentant]

[This whole time?]

Of course not
I know we're friends now

[onlyhope]

[ that isn't what he means, but how can he hope to explain the difference? ]

You are my dearest friend, Anakin.

[ he pauses, but only for a brief moment, before forging boldly forward: ]

I love you. I have never felt burdened by you.

[unrepentant]

[Something in him is moving, plates sliding across a molten core.]

I'm sorry Master

Forget I said anything

[onlyhope]

[ his fingers hover over the keys, staring down at his words and the response. was it the wrong thing to say? he doesn't think he has ever said the words so plainly. even when Padme asked him, he hadn't been able to confirm her suspicions out loud. he has no idea if he just made things worse, but it is too late to take it back and truth be told — he doesn't really want to. ]

There is no need to apologize. Thank you for telling me.

[unrepentant]

[Thank you for telling me. What does that mean?]



You don't have an answer, do you?

[onlyhope]

The answer is politics.

[unrepentant]

Master

Why am I the only one affected like this?
Why can't I just accept it like the rest of the Council?

[onlyhope]

You are not the first Jedi to question, dear one. I doubt you would have been the last, either.

You have always been gifted with a different point of view, but I think that is part of what makes you such a good Jedi. You see what the rest of us cannot.

I trust you.
I want to help you, if only you will let me.

[unrepentant]

Let you?

I've never been stopping you, it's always been the other way around.


We can't just
We can't just keep putting things off until the war is over. You tell me I'm a good Jedi, but I barely know who we are anymore.

[onlyhope]

You do know. You know who we should be protecting, you know what is right and what is wrong. You know that the Order has changed, even from the day you came to us.

But Anakin
I cannot help you when you freeze me out.

[unrepentant]

Freeze you out?

[onlyhope]

It has been some time since we have spoken this way, hasn't it?

[unrepentant]

Spoken this way

[onlyhope]

[ a pause ]

I do hope I am still speaking to Anakin and not a droid exceptionally good at mimicry.

[unrepentant]

I don't understand what you mean